No Green Thumb Here…

Nature simply is. She gives and keeps on giving. All She asks for in return is respect.

Somehow I got stuck in the wrong line when they were passing out green thumbs and I ended up with two brown ones. Brown is very nice color in quite a few instances (chocolate comes to mind), but decidedly not when it comes to plants and the like. Usually the opposite in fact, yes? Brown is generally the color of plants when they’re on their journey to the other side.

I’m in good company. My soul sister is also a confirmed brown thumb. Without any sort of devastating sense of failure, I am content with my brown thumb status simply because there are an abundance of wildflowers, parks, trails, and other people’s gardens that I can enjoy.

From the garden of one of my long suffering neighbors. They all now seem to understand that there is no way to get rid of the loony lady with the camera.

From the garden of one of my long suffering neighbors. Though they all (finally!) seem to understand that there is no way to get rid of the loony lady with the camera.

Wildflowers from the hills near our home.

Wildflowers from the hills near our home.

She looks like she's licking her chops to me. Do flowers even have chops? In my world, anything is possible.

She looks like she’s licking her chops to me. Do flowers even have chops? In my world, anything is possible.

Where can you get that shade of delicate pink? As far as I know, only nature can do it.

It's a bit of a green tangled, but nature does it with such grace.

It’s a bit of a green tangle, but they do it with such grace.

There she was in all her tiny gloriousness flourishing away in an empty lot I stumbled upon.

I spotted this fine lady growing in a small garden alongside a gas station. Pretty cool that someone took the time to plant her there.

Another find in a field. I had trouble getting them to sit still for me, but all the same, aren’t they sweet?

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Spring Once Again vs Horticulture

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”

~Margaret Atwood, “Bluebeard’s Egg”

If I weren’t a confirmed and *certified Brown Thumb, I might agree with the above quote. I don’t mind the smell of dirt (earth that is); however, it’s the planting of the seeds and then the maintaining of the little sproutlings that trips me up. I’m just no good at it. Since I have other skills (I make a mean lasagna), I do not let it get me down.

When it comes to flowers my preference are of the wild variety. Yeah, just let them sprout wherever they darn well please and grow at their own particular pace. Where do those wildflowers come from? I thought about it. And yes, I do realize there are science thingies called biology and horticulture. “Horticulture,” sounds a little snooty, doesn’t it? But that isn’t why it doesn’t interest me. No offense to any of you horticulturists out there (reading my blog?? Hah!), it just doesn’t interest me.  You may not have noticed, but I am much more fantasy, rather than science, orientated. So, I came up with my own version of what happens at spring.

You can find my tale on the Halloween Artist Bazaar site. Click on this link and it will take you straight to the short story “Spring Once Again.” Enjoy!

*Or was that certifiable? Ah well. Doesn’t really matter, does it?

Creepy Bunny Banner

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Halloween Artist Bazaar is hosting a fabulous giveaway for the spring. The winner will receive a package of indie artisan handcrafted collectibles worth over $200. You can sign up for FREE by clicking on the image below:

Halloween Artist Bazaar...we're not just for Halloween anymore (or ever)

Halloween Artist Bazaar…we’re not just for Halloween anymore (or ever)

A Dilemma: How to Make a Spring Egg Bomb

“Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.”

~Elwood P. Dowd, from the 1950 movie “Harvey”

Production here has switched over to Spring Time and I’m sure you’ll understand that Twisted Bunny can’t carry a basket filled with jelly beans. That would be ridiculous.

Regular bunny. Photo courtesy of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service National digital Library. I highly recommend this site for images of animals. All free of charge!

Regular bunny.
Photo courtesy of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service National Digital Library. I highly recommend this site for images of animals. All free of charge!

Chocolate bunny. Photo courtesy of Dove Chocolate.

Chocolate bunny.
Photo courtesy of Dove Chocolate.  And I’m always happy to spread the Gospel of Chocolate.

Twisted Bunny.As you can see he is conspicuously different than his brethren above. Photo courtesy of Cards for a Gloomy Day.

Twisted Bunny.
As you can see he is conspicuously different than his brethren above. Photo courtesy of Cards for a Gloomy Day.

My solution? It has to be either a carrot dagger, basket booby trap, or an egg bomb (an Easter Bomb-it. Hah!). I’m thinking egg bomb. Imagine the fun to be had with an Egg Bomb Hunt. Much more exciting than the hard-boiled variety, yes? To up the stakes, we could even set a timer on the egg bombs that way they’ll go off if the little dears aren’t quick enough to find them. Poof! No more long, drawn out egg hunts!

So…the dilemma is how to make an egg bomb without actually damaging anyone. I’m not thinking of making a real bomb. Great Toads of Horniness, how crazy do you think I am? Since there is no good answer to that question, I will just say this: if any Secret Service, Homeland Security, CIA etc are tuning in, not to worry. I could never work with real explosives. I’m way too clumsy for that, official-investigating-danger-and-threats type people.

My work desk. It’s all askew at the moment: desperately scribbled notes, half doodled faces, bits of spring green yarn strewn about, and partially sewn Twisted Bunnies. By the way, I created my very own Twisted Bunny template. Fingers crossed it turns out.

My work desk. It’s all askew at the moment: desperately scribbled notes, half doodled faces, bits of spring green yarn strewn about, and partially sewn Twisted Bunnies. By the way, I created my very own Twisted Bunny template. Fingers crossed it turns out.

Back to the matter at hand…shall I just attach a fuse dealy-bob to the top of a decorated egg of some sort? Would that truly get the point across? Hmm…I suppose that could work as long as I include explicate instructions.

I’ll do my best to keep you updated. In the meantime, it’s back to work for me. No rest for the wicked or small business owners, apparently.

Note: This post is merely a tiny example of the challenges small business owners deal with on a daily basis. Or is that the weirdness I deal with on an hourly basis? I can never keep these things straight.

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Watch for the Halloween Artist Bazaar’s upcoming Easter Hares & Springtime Scares Giveaway! Details soon to be posted on the Halloween Artist Bazaar’s website.

Halloween Artist Bazaar, not just for Halloween any more.

Halloween Artist Bazaar, not just for Halloween any more.