Carrothes Krazerous

Carrothes Krazerous is a member of the “How does Your Garden Groan” Plantvampings Series. What’s the “How does Your Garden Groan” Plantvamping Series? I’m asking myself the same damn question. 

I’m certain it won’t surprise you to hear that Carrothes has a majorly bad attitude. This attitude stems from his complete annoyance over the bright and cheerful orange color of his flesh. I cannot say that I blame him. Wouldn’t you be annoyed if you were orange? Since I didn’t want to cause him to go on a tear (have you noticed those teeth?), I decided that it best to doodle his portrait in black and white. I’m lucky that he sat for me at all. Actually, I’m lucky to be alive.

Like his creator the Great Vampire Botanist Quentin (who has become considerably more pretentious since my last encounter with him), Carrothes doesn’t like humans, except at mealtimes. But they must always be dressed. When Mr. Krazerous decides to have you for supper, he expects you to be wearing lots of butter and brown, organic sugar. A touch of cinnamon is always welcome. Go figure. Apparently it makes us taste better.

Although he looks small in this portrait, please note that I failed to include anything in the drawing to indicate scale. I’m fairly certain Carrothes would not have let me leave his cellar if I had! Although he may not appear frightening, he’s actually six foot, ten inches tall. Think about that for a moment. Are you back? Now then, would you want to meet up with 6’10” angry, chip-on-his-symbolic-shoulder vampire carrot in an alley? Or anywhere else for that matter? And not only are his teeth sharp, so are his wits. Do make sure that you keep yours about you.

Daiseous Vampireous

We always think of plants as pretty, decorative, and often useful. Other adjectives might include tame. Safe. We forget about carnivorous plants. Sure, those are dangerous to ants and flies, but what danger could they be to us? None. Until an introverted botanist named Quentin became a vampire. Quentin never connected to his fellow humans, preferring to spend all his free time in a garden or hothouse.  As a child he was heartbroken that the plants didn’t win at the end of “The Day of Triffids.”  Nothing has changed since he’s become a vampire and now the only way he relates to humans is as a food source.

Since he doesn’t associate with vampires any more often than he did with humans, to combat his lonely existence Quentin decided to experiment with his beloved flowers and plants. Daiseous Vampireous is his first achievement.

“The Day of the Triffids” would have ended differently in Quentin’s world and he has made very certain that his Plantvampings will always have the last word.

Vegetarians and florists, you’ve been warned.

Although Daiseous’ teeth are tiny, you should never judge something’s danger based on size. One mere scrape of those tiny teeth and you may never wake again. And her defenses do not end there. When she’s at rest, two small dragon leaves uncoil and stand guard over her. At her base, Oveous with its big, yellow eyes keeps watch. It would be unwise to skip through a field of Daiseouses. Luckily, there is only one of her. For now.