Spring Once Again vs Horticulture

“In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.”

~Margaret Atwood, “Bluebeard’s Egg”

If I weren’t a confirmed and *certified Brown Thumb, I might agree with the above quote. I don’t mind the smell of dirt (earth that is); however, it’s the planting of the seeds and then the maintaining of the little sproutlings that trips me up. I’m just no good at it. Since I have other skills (I make a mean lasagna), I do not let it get me down.

When it comes to flowers my preference are of the wild variety. Yeah, just let them sprout wherever they darn well please and grow at their own particular pace. Where do those wildflowers come from? I thought about it. And yes, I do realize there are science thingies called biology and horticulture. “Horticulture,” sounds a little snooty, doesn’t it? But that isn’t why it doesn’t interest me. No offense to any of you horticulturists out there (reading my blog?? Hah!), it just doesn’t interest me.  You may not have noticed, but I am much more fantasy, rather than science, orientated. So, I came up with my own version of what happens at spring.

You can find my tale on the Halloween Artist Bazaar site. Click on this link and it will take you straight to the short story “Spring Once Again.” Enjoy!

*Or was that certifiable? Ah well. Doesn’t really matter, does it?

Creepy Bunny Banner

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Halloween Artist Bazaar is hosting a fabulous giveaway for the spring. The winner will receive a package of indie artisan handcrafted collectibles worth over $200. You can sign up for FREE by clicking on the image below:

Halloween Artist Bazaar...we're not just for Halloween anymore (or ever)

Halloween Artist Bazaar…we’re not just for Halloween anymore (or ever)

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A Dilemma: How to Make a Spring Egg Bomb

“Well, I’ve wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I’m happy to state I finally won out over it.”

~Elwood P. Dowd, from the 1950 movie “Harvey”

Production here has switched over to Spring Time and I’m sure you’ll understand that Twisted Bunny can’t carry a basket filled with jelly beans. That would be ridiculous.

Regular bunny. Photo courtesy of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service National digital Library. I highly recommend this site for images of animals. All free of charge!

Regular bunny.
Photo courtesy of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service National Digital Library. I highly recommend this site for images of animals. All free of charge!

Chocolate bunny. Photo courtesy of Dove Chocolate.

Chocolate bunny.
Photo courtesy of Dove Chocolate.  And I’m always happy to spread the Gospel of Chocolate.

Twisted Bunny.As you can see he is conspicuously different than his brethren above. Photo courtesy of Cards for a Gloomy Day.

Twisted Bunny.
As you can see he is conspicuously different than his brethren above. Photo courtesy of Cards for a Gloomy Day.

My solution? It has to be either a carrot dagger, basket booby trap, or an egg bomb (an Easter Bomb-it. Hah!). I’m thinking egg bomb. Imagine the fun to be had with an Egg Bomb Hunt. Much more exciting than the hard-boiled variety, yes? To up the stakes, we could even set a timer on the egg bombs that way they’ll go off if the little dears aren’t quick enough to find them. Poof! No more long, drawn out egg hunts!

So…the dilemma is how to make an egg bomb without actually damaging anyone. I’m not thinking of making a real bomb. Great Toads of Horniness, how crazy do you think I am? Since there is no good answer to that question, I will just say this: if any Secret Service, Homeland Security, CIA etc are tuning in, not to worry. I could never work with real explosives. I’m way too clumsy for that, official-investigating-danger-and-threats type people.

My work desk. It’s all askew at the moment: desperately scribbled notes, half doodled faces, bits of spring green yarn strewn about, and partially sewn Twisted Bunnies. By the way, I created my very own Twisted Bunny template. Fingers crossed it turns out.

My work desk. It’s all askew at the moment: desperately scribbled notes, half doodled faces, bits of spring green yarn strewn about, and partially sewn Twisted Bunnies. By the way, I created my very own Twisted Bunny template. Fingers crossed it turns out.

Back to the matter at hand…shall I just attach a fuse dealy-bob to the top of a decorated egg of some sort? Would that truly get the point across? Hmm…I suppose that could work as long as I include explicate instructions.

I’ll do my best to keep you updated. In the meantime, it’s back to work for me. No rest for the wicked or small business owners, apparently.

Note: This post is merely a tiny example of the challenges small business owners deal with on a daily basis. Or is that the weirdness I deal with on an hourly basis? I can never keep these things straight.

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Watch for the Halloween Artist Bazaar’s upcoming Easter Hares & Springtime Scares Giveaway! Details soon to be posted on the Halloween Artist Bazaar’s website.

Halloween Artist Bazaar, not just for Halloween any more.

Halloween Artist Bazaar, not just for Halloween any more.

Hearts and Flowers, Blah, Blah

Yeah. I actually wrote a Valentine tale. Weird. By my standards, of course. The tale includes Fiddler-the-Cat (created by Twilight Faerie) and Wilbur. Equipped with a sharp beak (which is uncomfortable when applied repeatedly to your head, especially the way he wields it), Wilbur began pestering me around November last year. Since that time, he’s taken a few different forms. This is what he looks like now:

Wilbur & Betty Bee

My original pen drawing of Wilbur and his latest squeeze, Betty Bee. Yeah. Betty Bee. Things were running slow in my brain that day and that’s the name I came up with.

You won’t find the Valentine tale here. I wrote it for the fabulous artist group I’m lucky enough to be a member of, Halloween Artist Bazaar. Click on this link or the image below and it will take you straight to the short story “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Valentine Dance.”

Enjoy! And a Happy Valentine-Hearts-Flowers-and-Candy Day to you.

Halloween Artist Bazaar

Sleepy Blue Stars and Fiddler

Recently, I was asked to write a winter’s tale for the artist group of which I’m proud to be a member: Halloween Artist Bazaar. I decided to write a twist(ed) on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas and titled my piece “‘Twas the Eve Before Fiddler-The-Cat.”

Fiddler is Halloween Artist Bazaar’s mascot and his image is our leader, Twilight Faerie’s creation. The perfect mascot for our group, Fiddler is dark and mysterious, playful, and oh-let’s-just-say-it: adorable. Fiddler came to life through Twilight’s fair hand, and as soon as she told me his name it seems that he has had much to impart. This tale may only be the beginning…

I enjoyed writing this short story so much that it inspired me to create the following piece “Three Sleepy Blue Stars.”

“Blue stars,” you ask?

Yep. Blue.

Three Sleepy Blue StarsIK

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Halloween Artist Bazaar is hosting another fabulous giveaway for the Winter Holidays. The winner will receive a package of independent artisan handcrafted ornaments, jewelry, and other holiday fare worth over $200. You can sign up for FREE by clicking on the image below:

WinterGiveAway

Best of luck to you and whatever holidays you celebrate may you thoroughly enjoy yourself!