Lady Bosh Nonscents

Hanging on the walls of the narrow passageway hung row after row of paintings: portraits of saps, fools, and those who in-general carried large rocks in their tiny heads.

 

Continuing along the corridor the King and the Page were drawn to a very curious painting of nothing. Beneath the painting of nothing hung a small brass plaque inscribed with the name Lady Bosh Nonscents. The Castle’s Registry and written histories are quite muddled about her. Some records clearly indicate that no such person ever existed. Other records note that she did exist, but she was quite transparent. So transparent that people bumped into her or sat down on her all of the time. Apparently she had weathered many a bruise, but no matter how loudly she might complain no one could see her injuries, because they simply could not see her.

Lady Bosh appointed herself The Land of Regret’s Royal Traffic Director, presumably in an effort to be noticed: an effort that wasn’t worth the bother. On merely the second minute of the third hour of Lady Bosh’s traffic directing, she was struck by a rambling, sloth-driven, potato wagon. Thumped rather hard, both she and the potatoes flew many feet up in the air. This created quite a stir and potatoes scattered everywhere after having bounced off on many people’s heads. Of course, the entire incident is conjecture, because no one actually saw Lady Bosh fly anywhere; however, in addition to the shrill scream heard, witnesses did spot the stop sign that she had carried shoot up into the sky.

Lady Bosh Nonscents was never found, but happily all of the injured potatoes were recovered and made into an excellent side dish.

~An Excerpt from A Tarryfail, by Intricate Knot

A Painting of Nothing. Actually quite rare, even by today’s standards.

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12 responses to “Lady Bosh Nonscents

  1. Ah Sis, I always wondered where mashed potatoes came from. The painting of Nothing reminds me a little of the Emperors new clothes…. it is indeed rare even by todays standards. Brilliant, witty, and as enchanting as ever xoxo

    • It’s definitely one of my favorite dishes and I believe since I’m foregoing the lovely mashed potatoes in “real” life, I need to write about them. Next there will a story about brownies or macaroni and cheese…

      So very glad you enjoyed, Sis! xoxo

  2. Love the post IK, it made me chuckle a lot. And then I chortled and I think I’m right in saying a guffaw or two was released as well. Well done, and I love Lady Bosh’s portrait; you managed to capture her essence exceedingly well (hmm why does the word ‘exceedingly’ conjure up images of cake? Hmm now I’m hungry for cake!)

    Anyhoo, looking forward as always to more (both your posts and cake) 🙂

  3. “A Painting of Nothing. Actually quite rare, even by today’s standards..” Still and all, refreshingly NOT the “Emperor’s New Clothes” of all that modern art or worse still, publicly-funded art nonsense our eyeballs are all tortured with. I love how you use language to convey a sense of prosaic drollery, if there is such a thing. Lady Nonscents and her aspirations to Traffic Director. I’m curious as to what her staff were like. Did she have a successor? Awesome. Thanks.

    • “Prosaic drollery.” Awesome. If my opinion matters, I say yes, of course it exists. We’ll just need to nurture it along and hopefully it will grow.

      As to Lady Nonscents’ staff, sadly she had only just began interviewing candidates shortly before her untimely disappearance. And there was no successor as the entire land was suddenly placed under a dreadful spell of forgetfulness. Everyone forgot how to drive their potato and turnip trucks, so there wasn’t any need for traffic directors (royal or otherwise).

      Thanks so much for the excellent and thoughtful comment, Violafury!

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