Yeah, yeah “Three’s a Crowd,” but how about twenty? Why stop there? I’ll tell you why…

My imaginary friend got lonely while I was away…so I created another imaginary friend. I call them IF 1 and IF 2. These two ended up having an argument (it was terrible…who knew that make-believe friends could get so out of control?). Afterwards, as you can imagine (hah!) things were quite tense what with these two not speaking to each other. Worse yet, I got the impression (neither of them actually said, but I sort of picked up on it) that they blamed me. All I did was create them! What they end up doing after that is up to them, you know? Unfortunately, the two of them not speaking really bothered me and I just couldn’t leave things like that, could I? So I created a new friend for each of them. This didn’t quite solve matters, because even though IF 1 and IF 2 eventually made up not everyone wanted to be around each other all the time, so I [gulp] sort of created six more. I know, I know!! But my thinking was that this way they could all mix and mingle, right? I thought I was doing the right thing, but then math has never been my strong suit. Next thing I know, I had to separate three of them from the others, the “Troublemaker Trio,” I call them (okay, so I’m not so creative when it comes to naming my imaginary friends). With the Troublemaker Trio roaming around and taking advantage of everyone else things began to seriously escalate into the makings of a real (and I use the word “real” loosely, of course) crisis. Three is never a good number (what? you didn’t know that there are good numbers and bad numbers? who’s nuts now??); therefore, I had to create another one to make that group an even four. Things seemed to calm down considerably, but after all this, I finally created another new friend for the first imaginary friend (who didn’t seem to be getting along with any of the “newbies”…that’s gratitude for you).

My problem now (yeah, I am actually aware that this isn’t my only problem) is that it doesn’t appear to be stopping (the whole creating more and more imaginary friends…although, I’m beginning to think that “friends” may not be the right thing to call them…but don’t tell “them” I said that, okay?). This all started out so simple (as simple as complexes can be) and I did have the best of intentions (hah, you know what “they” say about intentions). Lastly, and I really hate to admit this, but to add another layer to this kind of freakish problem, I’m afraid that I’m either forgetting who I’ve created or [insert appropriately terrifying revelation music here] my imaginary friends are beginning to create their own imaginary friends. Or, oh horror of horrors, [that appropriately terrifying revelation music you inserted above? amplify it here] maybe they’ve been doing this all along? Crap. What the heck would these creations be called? Imaginary imaginaries? Imaginary Make Believe Imaginings? Whatever. All I know is that it’s getting awfully crowded in here and there are only so many brain cells to go around…


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